Simon on the Sofa

Transparency allows love to grow and fear to fade.

How it all began in a nutshell. A journey from dark to light if you will!

That’s not to say there won’t be any more darkness as it creeps up whenever it can or when we switch the light back of, but I feel I have found the switch so I can change that almost instantly. Having control of the switch has made me realise when the darkness becomes the light, the light has no opposite. They are one.

I would say I have always been quite a confident person even though that confidence was first derived from ego. I wouldn’t have said I had ever been deeply negative or at least when I was, I wasn’t aware of it. I just put it down to life and accepted that was how it was. “That’s life deal with it”.

The reason for writing this post is to show some of the steps taken in order to transmute negative thoughts into positive. It’s funny because many times over the past few years I have thought that everybody would have to spend a similar amount of time analyzing, reading and exploring before they could change, but that just isn’t true. Over the past decade more and more people have been opening up to the idea of a positive reality and have transmuted their own lives around. Positive thinking is a great idea but what happens usually in many cases is that the positivity on the surface is masked by a deep bed of negativity. It is this deep bed within the sub conscious mind that has to be transmuted and that is what takes a little longer. Persistence is the key. With that in mind you notice the differences instantly as persistence beats the resistance. The key for me has been awareness of those mind patterns and seeing the paths they create.

Taking you back now –
Having chosen to be a criminal for a part of my life I am living embodiment that you can transform yourself from negative to positive if you choose to. There are many stories out there that confirm this but they mean nothing until you achieve it for yourself. The ego likes to put those people higher up and more intelligent than you in order to keep you suppressed and in the dark, in pain and blaming everybody else but yourself.

Criminal -
1. of the nature of or involving crime.
2. Guilty of crime.
3. Law of or pertaining to crime or its punishment: a criminal proceeding.
4. Senseless; foolish: It’s criminal to waste so much good food.
5. Exorbitant; grossly overpriced: They charge absolutely criminal prices.
6. A person guilty or convicted of a crime.

Crime –
1. An action or an instance of negligence that is deemed injurious to the public welfare or morals or to the interests of the state and that is legally prohibited.
2. Criminal activity and those engaged in it: to fight crime.
3. The habitual or frequent commission of crimes: a life of crime.
4. Any offense, serious wrongdoing, or sin.
5. A foolish, senseless, or shameful act: It’s a crime to let that beautiful garden go to ruin.

I thought I would share with you the definition of crime and criminal which actually in some cases brackets us all as criminals. I have always wondered what point you go from criminal to actual criminal if wasting food is criminal or over charging is deemed criminal?! If a shameful act is a crime then I am sure we have all committed one of those.

Words are so misunderstood yet we live by them as truth. Half the time we do not even know their written meaning. It all comes down to interpretation and what you choose to believe. What meaning that word has had for you through your life and if the other person you are communicating with has the same understanding of the word being used. “Exactly”!! a mind maze of confusion. Who actually finds the time to go and read the dictionary, break down and understand the words you use? Not me until now. I am using words right now to portray my life experience, I am sure they will be misinterpreted at some point. Knowing that is ok and I wouldn’t expect anything less because as a species we are all caught up on and in words. For me its feelings that are our truth but I can only use words at present to share those feelings seeing as I personally haven’t fully mastered telepathy. (Trust me though I know its working)

Apologies I’m digressing – Growing up on a council estate was not all that bad; it was the only life you knew so you are just happy to be alive. It’s not until you get a little older around fourteen or fifteen that you start to see the massive divides in the monetary man mad world and how everybody is driven by money. If you don’t have it then you are nobody. You are judged by your financial position. It’s quite sickening really. (Especially once you realise how unimportant money really is) It’s sickening because of the mass pain and suffering which is unnecessarily inflicted onto people, causing so much conflict, aggression, abuse, anger and all other negative emotions. This starts way before your teenage years but you start to experience it tangibly around fourteen. Well at least that’s when I did. It’s different for many and I would even say its earlier now since the world of information has speeded things up for youths of today.

I started crime as a shoplifter and went from shoplifting to smoking marijuana to stealing from sheds to cars to houses and then pretty much wherever there was something to steel to earn MONEY. The key thing to mention here is no blame what so ever on anything especially money. Money is energy and as you grow to understand that, it neither has any hold over you nor becomes your primary drive in life. You realise why some attract it and others don’t. Thanks to the mass of information you can now access through the internet it’s clear to see how large the illusion of money really is. It’s a controlling mechanism which blocks us from experiencing the essence of life and who we really are.

The point of sharing with you that I have committed criminal offences is that it has been my fear to share this over the years. It has blocked me at times releasing the love within. It wasn’t until I did my catharsis -

ca⋅thar⋅sis -
1. The purging of the emotions or relieving of emotional tensions, esp. through certain kinds of art, as tragedy or music.
A. Psychotherapy that encourages or permits the discharge of pent-up, socially unacceptable affects.
B. discharge of pent-up emotions so as to result in the alleviation of symptoms or the permanent relief of the condition.-

Through writing and sharing I accepted, forgave and released the actions I committed along my journey. We all hold onto judgements, conditions and expectations on ourselves and this limits us as human beings which blocks all our chances of living to our full potential. Until we have full acceptance of ourselves we cannot accept any other being. We often think we accept ourselves but again that is the mask of a deep bed of judgement, expectation and condition i.e. negativity.

If you implement certain actions you can change your negative thoughts to positive and thus create a whole new world for yourself, from the things you experience to the company you hold. Anything you have ever dreamed has been achieved. What the mind can perceive it can receive. Every manifestation that a human has experienced positively or negatively first started as a thought.
Any action we do has to first begin with a thought even if we are not aware of that thought. Thoughts really do become things. I don’t know fully why, I don’t need to know, they just do. We truly do create our reality in our mind. The outer world is a reflection of our inner world.

The irony is if we knew how to explore ourselves from an early age, if we knew how to connect with the life energy that we are, then you wouldn’t need to be told “you must have a good career, and be sure to get health care and prepare for a pension”. If we knew how to understand the body and its many amazing functions. If we knew how food affected the body, if we were taught the energy meridians of the body and the wonders of how we are connected to every living thing. If only we were taught about life cycles and nature. How money can benefit us as an exchange for services and how to deeply communicate. If we knew all of this there wouldn’t be any worry. We would know that our uniqueness is embraced and welcomed. We would know that life has everything we could ever require. Fear would be nonexistent and love would support and guide. This would allow positive energy to grow and thus attract all we require at any given time. Exploration of a human life being; now that would be an interesting subject worth studying! More interesting than mathematics and understanding square routes. Don’t get me wrong mathematicians are quite unique and can probably describe the universe as we know it in a mathematical equation. “That is quite outstanding”.

After a number of criminal incidents, court cases, probation, and community service (cleaning up human faeces) and then Jail (thankfully for only a few months of a six month sentence) I decided to make a choice that the world I was in wasn’t a world that served me. Thinking it, that’s the easy part. Implementing the action to change, that is a completely different story. All I can say at this point is that it was the best thought I could have ever had. It created a lot of upheaval but every experience has been worth it since that day. I remember sitting down one afternoon smoking a joint watching Home and Away and I thought “man that was pretty unbelievable acting”, Unbelievable in the true sense of the word.

So that was my first direction out. I made a choice to become a professional actor, and perform better than the actors on Home and Away. Not too much of a different life than what I was leading. Both are associated to not being yourself.

One thing for sure is that I do not want you to read this and think how great I must be to have transformed my life. To be totally honest I am mentioning this part of my life for transparency not for pity towards how hard my life has been. Everything I have ever done I have chosen. I take full responsibility for my actions and choices. It hasn’t all been hard; I have had a lot of laughter, fun and unique experiences. Just because you have been a criminal doesn’t mean you have had a bad life. In many cases the life is quite dark, most people will turn on you at a drop of a hat, and you are constantly paranoid whether you smoke weed or not, life is uncertain but no more uncertain than it is now. And on the contrary there are many legal criminals very active in our society as you read this. They are in no way intending to stop their criminal acts to benefit humanity. You know who they are. We actually allow them to be criminals and support them for it. (That’s another story)

From my decision and new choices a lot of thinking and talking occurred in order to build confidence and make tangible my new reality. Then a new battle begun, a battle of self doubt, from there the obstacles and all other ego negativity was going to try its hardest to sabotage my choices. Anyway I won’t bore you with all the details although some of them are funny! But I managed to get myself into a theatre to study drama, and then got myself an agent and slowly over life obstacle after life obstacle, six agents later I have worked my way through to being paid as leading actor. Little did I know what that decision on that day was going to create for me in life, that path in itself has by far been paved with roses. I have tried many professions along the way in order to survive. In the beginning it was difficult to earn money from something different and not turn back to crime for the quick fix. I am also not saying I have now arrived at a destination or that I’m successful, as all that has gone well and truly out of the window over the past few years. The need for success, fame and fortune thankfully has left my mind. Again another story of what happens when you experience unconditional love.

I then started to look for a real job as some would say!!! Here are a list of Jobs that have supported me along my journey – Mexican bean packer, labourer, picker and packer, cleaner, car valet, electrical salesman, decorator, barmen, labourer, telesales, promotions, event manager, driver, gardener, personal trainer, massage therapist, carpet fitter, did I mention labourer, Company director, Entrepreneur and actor. Now I’m a bit of all of those jobs in one. And that’s all they are jobs that we do in life to earn money to live in a society that requires money to survive. Some of these jobs I lasted two weeks, two days or two hours but each one taught me something new about myself. Half the time they showed me what I didn’t want to do and that is priceless. Especially selling sex lube and cock shaped alcolholic drinks……………

If I had to label success I would say that “success is what you have overcome in life not how much money you have”. Most people associate success with money and wealth but I would use the words of Roger Hamilton and say “Wealth is what you have left when all the money is gone”.

The truth is positivity runs parallel to negativity. I started to realise the power of thought at around 21 yrs old. Thankfully I was introduced to a man by a good friend at the time. This man was a bit of an entrepreneur himself; he was very positive and had a good outlook on life. He’s the type of person who had post it notes of positivity all over his apartment. One I remembered very well was “If life hands you lemons, make lemonade” I don’t actually think I would create lemonade as I am certain hot lemon tea is nicer than lemonade and without the aspartame, but you get the gist. Do with what you have and make the most of it. He read books too, which was something I hadn’t done much of. I remember a book he gave me and I still have it today. It’s completely fallen apart. The book was called “Think and Grow Rich” By Napoleon Hill. You may have heard of it. I remember one chapter always stayed in my head at the time, “Energy transmutation”, How to transmute sexual energy into positive productive energy to succeed in life. At the time a vibrant young sex hungry lusting male, I thought I’m not sure about moving that energy somewhere else, if anything I could do with more sex energy!!

From then on I started to read more and more books. I met another great person who introduced me to Geoff Thompson’s books. Geoff has been through some dark experiences and he too used writing as his catharsis, he has now published a heap of books, written and produced films and a so much more. He has been a great inspiration to my own journey. Reading positively inspiring books became a hobby of mine. Books on acting, self help and spiritual teachers from the likes of Og Mandino, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Neale Donald Walsch, Geoff Thompson and Barbel Mohr, Susan Jeffers, Iyanla Vanzant, Kahlil Gibran and Paulo Coelho also business books by Roger Hamilton, Richard Branson, Napoleon Hill, Robert T Kiyosaki, Colin Turner, Bryan Mayne, Scott Ventrella, Robin Sharma and many more.

Once you start reading and following the path within it’s mad, but books just start coming to you from places unknown. Random people share book recommendations with you and as you start to implement the changes you have chosen from the new wisdom found, you and your life take on some dramatic changes. Those changes are at times very hard to deal with emotionally and mentally. At times people around you are not very happy either. In fact you’re so called friends and family can become hurdles and blocks for you to overcome as well. They do not know it most of the time as some are acting out of a perceived concern for you but when it boils down to it, it’s more about their own fear transference.

As the journey continues and the enjoyment follows you start to embrace the changes more and more and feel your world transforming in ways you never thought could or would happen. The journey really is the destination and as I said before the journey hasn’t finished yet. Everything I have done up until now has bought me to this place here in London England sat in front of an HP lap top sharing my experiences openly on a blog. I’m saying that knowing yourself is a life’s journey and spending your present life moments getting to know yourself physically, mentally and spiritually is a life that can transform you and a life that you deserve.

So this is me sharing my path as many authors have done for us, hopefully making you aware of some signposts that may guide you deeper within. This is just the beginning to give you a little delve inside of my head. The blog will share more as we go along.

Peace and love

-S.P.Sutton